I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve shed on this bridge; I also don’t know how many times I’ve sprinted across it because I couldn’t wait another minute to see my love. By the time I’m posting this Phil will be in the air on his way back to England. Long distance relationships are tough, saying goodbye to the one you love never gets easier. It’s especially hard when you’re in a vulnerable place in life. This will be my first real night alone in a long time and I have nothing to wake up to. I’ve been in treatment since August and now being alone, having nowhere to go and nobody to see feels strange. To be honest, I’m petrified. I can’t thank Phil enough for being such a loving and patient partner through all of this; I know it’s hard on him. Phil came to see me right after I was discharged from rehab and took care of me through my highs and lows. Now I’m on my own; there’s nobody here to make sure I take my medication when I don’t want to or bring me Pedialyte when it makes me sick. The past week back in the “real world” has been hard, but having Phil here to watch over me made everything so much easier. I don’t know what the next few weeks will bring; I don’t even have a continuing treatment plan figured out yet. I’m terrified.
